What if

 What if it does not.

We always confront our self that it will be alright and everything will work out no matter what.

 No amount of what if  should stop our self from trying and let get our self down. But there is always a big What IF that we cannot ignore. What if everything we do and all the hard work we put into  something actually turns out to be a fail. Such thought is something that our self conscious always have and its the thought that make us keep going as well as that stopped us.  

Wanting a good result every time is not possible and only left us with a broken heart. Sometimes instead of avoiding and ignore but it is not always the best solution. Gathering all the possibilities of all the result and how it might actually turn out and just sit with the thought of winning as well as losing and face it before it totally destroy you.  Become friend with the thought and embrace our failure is a necessary, for they are also a part of you. That need company.

Just sit with the all the thought and let it all sink in and understand it or at leas try to bare with it. Spend all he time necessary with it instead of running away from it. What if I fail, what if I fall, what if I am left behind and all the other what if we can think of. We can always tell our self that what if that don't  happens but how about what if it happens. What if I fail, I tried my best, you tried your best, we always do. Even when it seemed like we did not put much effort and all we always tried and do our own self best cause best for everyone have its own limit.

Sometimes trying our best and get ahead of our self and tried our very best  to catch up with others without them knowing we have used so much energy and chose the hard way to get there. But what if you don't have to do it the hard way and maybe there is always a safer way that is waiting for you to find. The way that you accidentally  unconsciously ignored in the thought of the harder way. A little calmness a little What if I don't win, to what if I learn more from it? 

Let yourself free, feel all the emotions fall and fall so, even leaf fall and die. Yeah so sudden, but we will all die its a fact but we are not dead and still alive and well. When leaf was still in the trees and hanging they might be scared of falling too but when it fall and reach the ground they might actually feel safe and unconcerned and rather calm and slowly become one with the soil.

The life we live are all about accepting we don't need to understand and get it all.

What if we fail.

The silent road

Wanna be a daily blogger but many days I have missed sounds more like irregular blogger. But somehow got through the excuses and star again. Soo..

Walked down the road under the moon lit night. With lemon tea holding on the side with one hand intertwined with another hand so warm in the cold winter. 

So cold yet so warm. The tea so hot and took too long to gulp it all and to makke it easier to gulp. Took away from where it was and pour it from one cup to another to cool it down. Everything seemed so perfect and the tea at a perfect temperature warm not hot just perfect. 

Waiting for others that were so slow from playing too much. Would we still be this close next 10 years yes is the answer but how time have change the situations. 

A little cat that break the awkwardness in the silence of that dark road that was so empty. Not a fan of cat noticed but the action and card shown to the cat was so lovely. Then notices came rushing the sound of kids having fun only to turn out to be of adulting human. 

Waited them for long time now the silence turned into a circus where youth feels so real. Not knowing what the future holds having fun and joking around and claiming forever and making promises that weren't for us to make.

The stars were bright as ever where the moon was. playing hide and seek. The shade of the trees from the stree lamp was dark as always. The branches of the trees so dark look rather hunted and would grab and swallow whoever it can grab. 

The sudden thought of fear as a child came flowing seeing the darkness around  but the crowd that was there makes it seemed impossible for the memory of those dark imagination stain. 

The quiet road that was empty was filled of laughter and memory that no one will ever be able to remove.

Little angel

 

The innocence in a child so pure. 

Only in need of things that are infront of them without Worldly trouble and the caos happening. They see the thing that are happening infront of them and think and know about only  that are visible to them without any extra thought to it.

Saying what they wanted to, weather it's hurtful or not but is not hurtful enought for a grown person or hurt q person's ego as it is the truth they speak of and they mean it in good way. 

Living without any care in the world where crying could give them love and care. Playing with sand and toys anything would entertain them no need of expensive materials. 

Running around screaming spreading energy and joy for the whole family and when tired just sleep off. 

Anywhere just sleep where they haven't know of the word I cannot sleep and would just doss off anywhere. Feeling safe knowing that people are there will help and take care of him.

Every step it takes are  a memorable moment for the family. Every new words spoken are recordable and are best news awaited for the whole family. New songs learned and poems learned are like a very expensive concert for the family. 

Standing in the middle getting everyones attention, shouting out The alphabets where after every letter would get praise. 

So much joy and love it brings. Connecting and binding a family that were unknowingly drifting apart. A little treasure so precious.

Wherever it may grow to be let there be love that follows like the love it give and recieve as a kid. The healing he brings and all the love he is full of may it be a part of him. May the world not break that trust it have to always sleep peacefully. 

The care free to run around and be in contact with nature may the worldly thing not distract him away.

Glimpse Of MCC

 The Earthiness in mcc. 

Chennai is a verry hot and humid place but inside mcc campus there are lots of plants and animals. And so the heat is more tolerable and bit cooler inside mcc campus there are some who claim it's the same but to me personally the moment we went outside the campus and come inside the campus the heat is definitely different.

The amount of life that is present in mcc is amazing. It's like living in a forest but with better facilities. We don't have to go to zoo to see deer, peacock. Well even sometimes we woke up because of the peacock scream? umm sorry if it's wrong but it sound so much like screaming as a student of hall resident but so much better than waking up from alarm. Umm that's understandable because they are so beautiful.

The squirrel that run around quickly, that pop out of the trees unexpected that used to suprise and scars me a lot of time. But they were never dangerous to other they live peacefully in the trees minding their own business. Sometimes I feel like they ming be thinking how noisy we the people of mcc must be. 

Still the noisier we get the more lively we are. The animals that give life to mcc. Ohh monkey I couldn't forget them. The monkey they look cute and innocent but don't be fooled by them they are only after food. They even stole the choco bar that my friend was eating that she didn't even share it to me yet. And that monkey was fast no way we can ever get it back so we just look at the monkey running off with the choco bar.

But still I hope it share it with its friends tho. Also the birds so many varieties of them. Beautiful colours they have made me want to be a bird so many time. Their chirping sound so melodious and the way they fly are so peaceful. The crows that are everywhere in mcc they are already a part of it more than most of the people here I guess.

Mostly the dogs are the only ones who would get full attendance if we take in some class. And especially this day that is 2024 of August and before there are puppies. Lots of them they are so cute and are being loved by many people. They are the most famous in mcc right now everyone taking pictures with them some bought dog food for them. Saw some even skipped class just to be with them. 

The dogs somehow used to get hurt. Seeing them and not knowing how they got hurt and mostly cannot help them is the worse feelings I have being in mcc. If only there are special vet or doctors or clubs just for protection for the dog. Cause they also have life and I have never herd if the dog agressively act towards humans. They were in need of care they are in need of attention. 

Somehow somewhere maybe they will get better and treatment from the people around them, Let's hope. And if your reading this treat the sog better 🫵🏻. Cause they cannot speak human and mcc is their only home.

With them deer they are lot of them they look so beautiful. The big ones look so magical like the one from snow white movie even the small ones too. They are so calm and huge. they have such a unique figure too. From their to their colours to their behaviour is likeable. They eat leaf and make it look so tasy and it's not even that tasty not that I tried the leaf hehe. 

The way they walk where the small ones are always at the last trying to catch up with them while being distracted by lots of things are so cute. 

There are many animals I wanted to mention more of but I don't know more of what they are called. And so if you want to know them more and you're in mcc. Just look around and see the beaty of it instead of getting distracted by phones and it will also help with your stress cause Nature is the best in calming one self and in mcc we are filled with it.  From trees to flower and from animals to people. 

Place that have so many varieties of life living in it and is still string and will keep on striving. Wishing that it would stay the same and give many more people the safety it gives. And be a place where people learns and grow.

yellow

 

Yellow is the colour of the sun from what we see.

Yellow is the colour is my dress that I wear. Yellow is the colour anunu aka ask me to write. Yellow is a colour of sunflower.

It is the colour that shows our excitement. Yellow is a very underated colour I am not saying others are not good but black, pink, purple and a lot of other colour is nice But yellow is also a verry vibrant colour. Yellow is charismatic.

Maggy is yellow and we all love maggie that calm our hungry body. When we have no appetite maggie is to the rescue. 

The colour of turmeric yellow used by everyone so healthy and is even a part of most   traditional event in tamilnadu. 

The colour yellow which is used during festivals to show the festiveness, fun and joy it brings.

She make home

Every year there are a reminder to us the day we were born. 

Weather we celebrate or not it is a day we all always remember. The day A person just a human being brought another life and sould into this world. No matter how the world would feel about it, the life that was given inspite of having a chance of loosing their own is a choice every mother make.

A new life that give new hope to the world of a mother. A person who is willing to sacrifice anything in the world for the life she have carried. 

Where every thing she do is for the family so that they would not starve giving up on their own to live a life for someone else. Mistreated and mocked is nothing for a mother for her love for her is so big. 

From never letting go or cutting of a family where decision is made is even so the child would live a better life.

Being ignored and mistreated for not being perfect enought even by family member how tired she must be. Even the surrounding are giving her hard work the grass would never stop growing that is needed to be cut every day. House that is needed to be cleaned to food needed to be prepared and getting all the requirements for making it. 

How did she manage it all isn't giving a person's life not enought yet she is never considered enought. Everyone forced to want to work more where all she did is work. When she rest she need to think of the next work she have to do to make the family survive.

Looked by someone are they not ashame to say those harmful word have they not see her hardwork. They themselves see her work make her work and yet called her incompetent and is useless.

She is the foundation in a family that make the family strong and firm. She is the person who never gives up even though she have every right to. She choose the one reason to be strong when there are millions reason to give up. 

Because she did not give up because she have hope in the life she create she have faith. She believe that she would not be disappointed. Never in the heart. 

Her love is different her love is never comparable to any thing that is ever visible or known. She is love she is amazing and She deserves all the award that is ever needed for she teach something she never learn. She do something that no one ever told her to do She give life and She gives hope and she have faith. 

She make a home, Home.

Expectations kills

 

A little caterpillar that just move slowly on the ground and live by eating leaf.

Which will soon be a butterfly one day. Slowly move carrying and dragging its own body looking at the fully grown butterfly wondering when it's time will come. While imagining how life would be like how different it must be.

Waiting for everyday to finally grow out to be a butterfly how life would be so much easier just flying in the sky looking earth from above. But now just looking from below everything seemed so much harder.

Wondering what would it be able to do and to how much length it's fun would be. Spending all its time imagining to being something else that it is not. Just eating leaf and moving around in hope of flying some day.

But oh how the world is also not so much better from above. To see all the hurt that have happen and can do nothing to other just trying to harm and take advantage of it.And many other which make it hard to survive.

Warned by older other people but still imagine how beautiful the world would be so different. Other may say so many things and all that but how can one inexperienced know it all. The excitement is just in the soul itself. 

Slowly it did grow every different form it face from different shape and size it went through. The hardship it face now understand what oher mean before.

The process of understanding it all are just too harsh. The more it knows and understands the more there is to know and understand. The need to compromise with other creature.

Slowly it have completed its form. How free it felt how wonderful it felt. Fly so long till it exhaust itself. But the experience of seeing and exploring something new is just amazing.

But just how long does it looked beautiful. The more it flew the more it see the expectations it have and all the time it have spent imagining. Have dulled the life it is now.

But it was not supposed to be it claimed but how exactly is it suppose to be?... well no one knows. the the excitement in us to try new things have make such a big expectations in is that it is so much bigger than what we can imagining. 

Which would later eat up and make us do and think what it isn't suppose to be. Being disappointed by others just because of one's own expectations there are just no cure. 

With a little less expectations and more of hope we can have a better smile.