dizzy

 Little late nad never on time.

What if all of this is fake what if we aren't real and just not exist. It's okay not to be perfect it's okay to make mistake but every one is rushing towards being perfect. Not knowing how many people they have tomped on along the way. Just to get to where they want just to complain again.

While I am fight my own battle. How can I compete even when I don't win against me I am my worst enemy "I don't hate anyone" just because I like everyone or I don't have anyone who I hate  doesn't mean there aren't. Just there are not a single soul in this world that hate me more than I do.  

I woke up is it 7 am looking at the time it's already 12 pm the world's spinning too fast it's making me dizzy. U want me to sleep but if I close my eyes the voices are louder than ever what escape are there than just scroll all the way until your whole body shut down.

When it shut down isn't dream land suppose to be better than reality?.... I lost everything there and there was a flash and suddenly falling down faster so fast but so slow? ...like there is no end but the end is the worst ever that could happen and it all become so dark just to be chases by something.......but what could it be so scary and heartbreaking situation. Running breathless looking around for someone or something that could help only to find more dangerous things.

What else can I do but to look back in time only to realise It was never better. Every good moment disappeared or was it never there. Top the thinking or all those left memory will creep in again STOP thinking or it will hunt you again.

Words was all I trust and hold on to until words are only just words. What's there to believe when all the words spoken were never mean when it's spoken all those empty words. Looks so full yet so hollow even a little could fall into it. 

Wait..?... how can I when all I ever did was wait. 1 more time? I already did it 1000 time only to be left alone left with the empty soul it wasn't ment to be like this.? Yes it wasn't but we make it